April 2024: We’re Back! (1993)

It’s April and while I wish this was a fool, it isn’t. We’re playing We’re Back! . I own it, but I have not played it. If I have, I don’t remember. It’s a special game to me, though, because it’s the game I bought that broke my modern rule for collecting: Only buy what I like or what appears interesting. I can’t fathom why I spent the 3-5 dollars on this that I did. I have never seen the movie so I have no attachment to the IP. I had no idea what the game was like. I saw a dumb label and said “sure, I need this!”. I did not need it. My reflection upon that stupid purchase led to a year of mostly not buying any Game Boy games.

ANYWAY, upon looking up some gameplay it looks like an extremely average platformer aping the Sonic the Hedgehog style. Not only did this not work out well for many games on consoles, it has worked out extra poorly on the Game Boy. See Speedy Gonzales, one of the first games we covered for some reason.

Here’s D’arcy to tell you more about it

“If you’re a fan of the Gameboy, chances are you’re also right around the age to fondly remember We’re Back! A Dinosaur’s Story, the 1993 animated movie, based on the 1987 book. I remember it being a movie I watched a lot as a kid, and never really clued into how weird a voice acting cast it included with the likes of John Goodman, Charles Fleischer, Walter Cronkite, Jay Leno, Julia Child, Yeardley Smith, and Martin Short. Yeah, from established voice actors to sitcom and late night stars, to news hosts and celebrity chefs.

As much as we could wax nostalgic on the film, which I would love to do, we’re here to talk about the Game Boy game. Now, you might think that this is simply a downgraded port of the SNES or Genesis game. Fair enough, a kid’s film would be ripe for the porting and shoveling, but this game might be even more egregious? Not because it’s worse than the SNES game, I think it’s actually a pretty strong platformer. No, this game is one of many skins – here in North America, it was a tie-in for the film, but literally every possible region has a different variant. From what I can tell, the original release of this game was developed by Beam Software and released in Europe as Baby T-Rex, Agro Soar in Australia, Bamse in Sweden.

The gameplay in all of these versions is identical, with only some sprite work and cutscenes being added or re-worked to fit each release. As such, while some of the surface level stuff works, the gameplay itself has little to do with the movie. The game is a one player adventure, with a two player mode being offered where players simply pass the system back and forth between deaths. It’s all pretty standard stuff: Collect items, move to the right a little too quickly, and feel like you would rather be playing Sonic. You can attack enemies with the brain-grain cereal pickups, but it’s generally easier to just avoid enemies where possible.

It’s a fun game to pop in and try out, maybe grab a copy if you find it on the cheap, but I can’t say it’s going to satisfy you if you’re wanting to bring back memories from the film. If you’re into generic mascot platformers, yeah, check it out.”

The fact that we got a version where the main character DOES NOT ALWAYS have a skateboard is a pretty big bummer.

I like investigating platformers from this era if only to see all of the churned-out crap I didn’t experience as a kid. I expect this to be an amusing one-off evening, but I’ve also been known to get hooked on janky games, so maybe I’ll try to see it through. There are cheat codes, at least! –IF

Castlevania Legends: Better Lost To Time – D’Arcy Briggs

Castlevania Legends for the Game Boy is the third portable entry on the console, yet it falls short in nearly every way compared to the last entry from seven years prior. Released in 1998, it arrived later in the Game Boy’s lifespan, a time when gamers had grown accustomed to more polished experiences on the handheld console.

Castlevania games are known for a few key features. Even before the ‘Metroid’ aspects entered the vocabulary of the games, the heart of each release really needs to feature challenging gameplay, some banging music, and an awesome atmosphere. However, Legends feels like a relic of an earlier era. Its simplistic design and sluggish pace really feel like something that would have been fitting for the Game Boy’s earliest works, which might have been forgivable in earlier releases but feels out of place given the advancements in handheld gaming technology by 1998. Consider that by this time we already had the likes of Donkey Kong Land 2 and 3, Kirby’s Dream Land 2, the entire Mario Land trilogy, and so many other amazing platformers.

One of the most frustrating aspects of Castlevania Legends is its jumping mechanics and the punitive death from falls. These elements feel cheap and almost deliberately inserted to artificially extend the game’s length. Combined with the overall slow pace, they contribute to a sense of tedium rather than challenge. It’s as if the developers attempted to compensate for the simplicity of the gameplay by introducing frustrating mechanics, resulting in a disjointed and unsatisfying experience. I know we know this was a fairly normal practice, but considering that this was a handheld game and not for a home console, I feel like we don’t expect that as much. Playing this using Switch Online made this a much easier experience, one that I didn’t feel the need to continue using the actual cartridge. While the music in Castlevania Legends serves its purpose adequately, it lacks the standout compositions that defined previous installments in the series. Just like the artwork, there’s nothing incredibly terrible or off putting about it, but nothing really stands out either.

Despite its flaws, Castlevania Legends isn’t entirely devoid of merit. The core mechanics remain true to the series’ formula, offering familiar whip-based combat and monster-slaying action. It’s still recognizably a Castlevania entry, I wouldn’t say it would please all fans, but there’s still that core loop to be played with.

Castlevania Legends feels like a missed opportunity for the series to evolve. The first GB entry felt like a proof of concept, with the follow-up really getting it down for the handheld. This could have been such a great way to end a trilogy. While it may hold nostalgic value for some fans, its shortcomings prevent it from standing alongside the classic entries in the Castlevania franchise.

D’Arcy is an educator and gamer from BC, Canada. He’s been gaming his entire life and enjoys both new and retro games. His consoles of choice are Game Boy, PS3, and Switch.You can follow his gaming online @darcyska_gaming