Lord Reptile, Bloomington, IN

Reptile’s KWIRK Review

The Reptile has had many tomatoes today: tomatoes for breakfast, tomatoes for lunch, and by far the least favorite of them all is KWIRK, the chilled red tomato for Gameboy. While The Reptile usually enjoys tomatoes, this one has left a somewhat bitter flavor in The Reptile’s mouth. That bitterness has resulted in a mostly negative review of this month’s game.

When KWIRK was announced as game of the month it was an exciting time. I thought, “It’s finally time to take the red ball with sneakers and sunglasses on a fun platforming adventure everywhere I go.” Unfortunately, I had mistaken KWIRK for 7-up’s video game mascot Cool Spot. A common mistake, I’m sure.

KWIRK was not a platformer as I originally expected, but a puzzle game. Your objective is to lead our chilled red hero through a labyrinth of rooms, each containing its own set of block sliding and wall flipping puzzles. There’s no enemies, and you can reset the room as many times as necessary. It’s up to your wits, the tomato, and a carrot friend that sometimes helps the tomato to get you through tons of puzzles which separate our tomato protagonist from his sweet tomato girlfriend, TAMMY.

While I enjoy the sound of KWIRK’s squishy footsteps and the few toe tapping tunes his game has to offer, that’s where my praise of KWIRK ends.

KWIRK initially fooled me into believing it could be a fun puzzle adventure not unsimilar to HAL Lab’s brilliant Adventures of LoLo, however it’s really just bootleg LoLo at best. I recommend checking out LoLo instead for a more charming adventure, also available on Gameboy where good games are sold.

The levels of KWIRK are mundane and blend together in no time. Nothing except brick walls and white blocks means some of the cleverness of the puzzles is quickly lost because very little about the rooms is memorable. I want more action in my puzzle games. Or how about some creative visual effects. Where’s the exploding blocks? Where are the cute dinosaurs making chirping sounds? If KWIRK had any of that, maybe it would be worth the frustration caused by some of the more brain-busting levels.

The Reptile’s hoped there would be more to say about KWIRK, but the game feels somewhat bare. While there’s plenty of brain teasers for nerds who like to be tormented by their smart yet boring video games, it does little to captivate gamers like me who need fun gameplay and good graphics. And not unlike the process of writing this review, after a very short amount of time The Reptile has already moved on.

  • FINAL JUDGEMENT: *eats game* Average/Boring

Lord Reptile (@LRD_RPTL) is a retired fast food critic who now goons out on twitter and plays guitar in a Namekian doom metal band when he’s not slinging soup, watching anime or gaming.

Lord Reptile, Bloomington IN

Pocket Bomberman Pros/Cons


1. THE CONTROLS/GAME DESIGN. Jumping Bomberman=More exciting single player gameplay and escape opportunities from self termination. The jumping and bombing controls are very responsive. Single player mode is usually an afterthought in Bomberman games, this one (mostly) gets it right.
2. Classic Bomberman music/graphics. The bosses in particular are well designed, almost like nes bomberman meets pocket fighter on neo geo.
3. Challenging, satisfying boss fights. I died the most on the bosses but I never got overly frustrated.

1. Some of the level designs leave much to be desired. While some gameboy games offer a small yet memorable selection of levels, (Ex. Kirby’s Dreamland, Battle Unit Zeoth, Super Mario Land) Pocket Bomberman has too many forgettable levels. This coupled with lots of backtracking to hunt down that last elusive enemy makes the game feel bloated.
2. The side scrolling perspective means enemies can and will appear without warning from all angles killing you without any time to react.
3. Although the game’s focus is on single player adventure, the lack of multiplayer via link cable is questionable and feels decisively un-bomberman.



The Reptile resides in Bloomington IN. Reviews fast food and hosts Video Game Fight Night most Fridays at his home. 

Eric Lappe (Denver, CO)

Is that a Bomberman in your pocket or do you just have gas?

    When I was 16, I worked at a used video game store and every single week I would end up giving my entire paycheck back to my employer in exchange for games that I bought with my employee discount. It was awesome for building up my video game collection but TERRIBLE for my wallet! One of the games I remember putting in my employee drawer early on was Pocket Bomberman.

At the time, I was vaguely familiar with the Bomberman series and had probably only played Bomberman on NES, one of the ones on SNES and maybe Bomberman World on PS1, but I was familiar with the general theme of the game – walk around and blow stuff up with your bombs! I don’t think I ever got through this game as a kid but playing it again recently, I had flashbacks of the permanent toilet ring I suffered on my backside after playing this game on the John for excessive amounts of time.

Bomberman himself has gone through some interesting changes over the years and prior to playing Pocket Bomberman, I remember playing the Indiana Jones-themed Bomberman GB and yet again, Bomberman’s appearance has been changed to that of a knight with a cape…for some reason. I suppose that reason has to do with the silly plot which involves a bad guy sealing the “Sword of the Sun”, which results in the sun being blocked out by a thick cloud that shrouds the land in darkness. It’s up to King Arthu… I mean Bomberman, to collect the 5 “Power Stones” and break the seal to shed light on the world once more…I think.

I’ve always liked the standard Bomberman gameplay since I played it on the NES but Pocket Bomberman is very different from many other games in the series in that it adds platforming to the standard formula. I wouldn’t say that Bomberman has gotten stale over the 60-something releases over the years but it was refreshing to play a Bomberman game with a new twist for sure. I thought I’d fall victim to my own bombs less frequently now that I was able to run and jump around but alas, that hasn’t changed a bit!

Despite me being my own worst enemy in this game, I think that Bomberman works really well as a platformer and the controls work well despite taking Bomberman “off the grid”. Trapping some of the enemies with your bombs can be pretty difficult and possibly harder than the traditional Bomberman games because of how much room there is to move around on the screen for both you and the baddies.

The enemies are a bit different from the ones seen in prior games in the series and some of them are very fast and move all around the screen wildly, which makes it difficult to dodge and attack them. The best example of this comes from the boss fights where they hurl projectiles at you that can be very hard to dodge. That being said, the bosses are a really cool addition and are pretty friggin’ challenging! I must’ve fought the final battle over 50 times and it took me about an hour to beat the last boss!

The controls work really well and even though I got frustrated at times, I always knew it was my fault and not the fault of the game or the controls. The graphics are good and the mild use of color often found on the GBA was a nice touch but Bomberman hasn’t ever been a really flashy game so, it looks good for what it is. The music is really good throughout and the stereo GBA sound sounded good on my surround sound speakers. There are 5 worlds – Forest, Ocean, Wind, Cloud and oddly enough, EVIL (almost had a Captain Planet thing going on there until that last one). With 5 levels in each world, it makes for a fairly short 25 level game, which is probably ideal for a Game Boy game I suppose.

I was surprised to find out that this was one of the launch titles for the GBA and was released twice in Europe – once in B&W and once in color. I was also curious about the title, “Pocket Bomberman” and thought that it must’ve had something to do with the Game Boy Pocket, which it may have in the original B&W version, but maybe it just means that it’s a Bomberman game on the go? Who knows, I only played it when I HAD to go, rather than when I was ON the go.

I always look up games on howlongtobeat.com before I play a game and I was encouraged to see that it took about 2 hours to beat but that must be for a much more skilled gamer than myself because it took me about 5 hours to beat. That’s taking into account the number of times I died, the hour it took me to defeat the last boss after learning his moves and patterns and taking some time to try out the Jump mode. Jump mode is pretty cool and might be the precursor to those auto-jumping games like Doodle Jump or whatever for mobile games. It’s fun for a few minutes because I didn’t get very far before dying and it makes you start over after every death!

In conclusion, it’s a Bomberman game, it’s a platformer, it’s a Bomberman platformer…a Blatformer? Platbomber? Whatever. I actually think it’s a pretty interesting style for Bomberman that I’d like to see them do something with again in the future because Bomberman has been re-released in the usual format about a billion times and while it should probably be old hat by now, I’ll still always buy them because I love me some Bomberman and it’s such a fun game to play with friends! If you like Bomberman but want to try something different, pick this up and PUT IT in your pocket!

Side note: I was really excited to see that they released a Goemon skin for Super Bomberman R on the Nintendo Switch! Maybe Konami hasn’t forgotten about the blue haired Robin HOOD after all!?

Eric Lappe puts on a show on Youtube called Let’s Get where he hilariously reviews video games. He also has a podcast by the same name and has appeared on the Video Game Years. Check him out!

Erik Pierson (AZ)

This month’s game is not a game that I owned until very recently. I picked it up this weekend at the SoCal Retro Gaming Expo. I’m glad that I found it there because I was having trouble finding a copy locally. I’m also glad I found it because it’s a game that’s been on my want list for a while. Partly because I’m a huge Bomberman fan and partly because it’s one of the games designed to do cool things with the Super Game Boy. Super Game Boy enhanced games is a subset I’m trying to complete.


  I brought a GB Boy Colour with me to California so I popped the game in right when I got back to my hotel room. Right from the start this game oozed “Bomberman” and I was smiling. I chose to play the Normal Game first. I will start by saying this is the mode I had the most fun with. I found the mix of the classic Bomberman game play, platforming, and light puzzle solving to be a joy to play. I will say jumping with the B button took a bit to get used to. Once you adjust to that though the controls feel great.

I then tried the Jump Game. While this mode was fun, I didn’t enjoy it nearly as much. Possibly because I’m not good at it. This mode kind of reminds me of the Balloon Trip mode in Balloon Fight. Probably because I’m a huge fan of Balloon Fight but I’m terrible at the Balloon Trip mode too.

I of course tried this game out in my Super Game Boy as well on my SNES. I found the game to be a real treat when played in this manner. It has special Super Game Boy exclusive boarders and it looks and plays great on a CRT television. The color they added for the Super Game Boy looks nice too.


 I also made sure to try this game out in a regular old gray brick Game Boy. I was pleasantly surprised to find the game to be pretty playable on it. I wasn’t really able to play last month’s game on it, so this game earns extra marks this month.


  I’m very glad this game is in my collection now. I’ll definitely be putting a lot of time into it in the future. I’d also have no problem recommending this game to someone. As a long time fan of the Bomberman series this is quickly becoming one of my favorite Bomberman games to play.

Erik Pierson runs the noteworthy Retail Archaeology Youtube Channel. You should check that out!

Erik Pierson (AZ)

  Skate or Die: Bad ‘N Rad is not a game I grew up with. I wasn’t even aware of its existence until a few years ago when I found an unloved copy at a Goodwill for a few dollars. That’s one of my favorite things about the Game Boy library, there’s still lots of hidden gems for collectors to find. It’s a vast library with lots of cheap games. This particular copy was so unloved that I didn’t know it was part of the Skate or Die series for a long time because the label was worn at the top. All I could read was “Konami” and “Bad ‘N Rad”. I really enjoy a lot of Konami’s work on the Game Boy and I’m huge fan of the word “Rad” so I figured this game was a safe bet for a few bucks.


  Even though I’ve owned this game for a few years, I never really played it until a few days ago. I tested it when I originally bought it, but didn’t get past the title screen. This was because it wouldn’t let me skip all of the extra copyright and legal garbage at the beginning. This is a pet peeve of mine and one of a few reasons why calling this game a “gem” might a be a stretch.

Since I had never played this game before, I decided I should first try it out on an original Game Boy. After a few minutes of game play I realized I couldn’t play it on an old Game Boy. I even tried with my ridiculous Nuby light and magnifier thing. The game was simply too fast and the Game Boy screen is, well it is what it is. I know nobody is playing GB games on old un-modded hardware. I think it does speak to the difficulty of the game though if it can’t really be played anymore on the original hardware.


  I proceeded to spend the rest of my playtime with the game split between my Game Boy Advance SP and my GB Boy Colour. Now that I could actually play the game the first thing I noticed was how much it reminded me of other early Konami Game Boy games. The music is a good example. Konami new how to competently use the Game Boy sound hardware and this game shows it. Even the level select screen reminds me of TMNT: Fall of the Foot Clan.


  The game itself is fun, but frustrating. The controls, graphics and sound are all fine. They’re even really good for the most part. However it seems to rely quite a bit on the video game trope of memorization after multiple plays and game overs. This kind of game play was definitely overstaying its welcome by the time this game went to market. However, I grew up playing old arcade games where this kind of mechanic started and do have an appreciation for them. I’m just glad I’m not paying quarters to play this game!

I really enjoy the first two Skate or Die games on the NES and have tons of fond memories playing them with friends. This game did manage to evoke some of those memories and I did really start to have fun with it after a few game overs. It definitely felt like a worthy Skate or Die entry on a portable system. I think what impressed me most about it was that I didn’t play this game when I was kid so “Skate or Die hype” isn’t effecting how I feel about the game. But even that far removed I still feel like I’m playing a good Skate or Die game.

Erik Pierson runs the noteworthy Retail Archaeology Youtube Channel. You should check that out!

Ian Ferguson (San Diego)

I was super stoked to have Skate or Die: Bad N Rad up as the first title for our Gameboy club (collective? I like that) Yokoi Kids. I’ve had the game since I was a kid, I got it from my friend along with a second Gameboy and a few games for about 20 bucks and I had just happened to get my first paper route! Money! Purchasing Power!

Quick little NB here – paper routes are awful. If you are a child reading this and paper routes are even a thing anymore: just don’t. You’ll end up working for a guy named Carl and never attend or throw a good sleepover because you, a child, will be getting up at 6am to put together newspapers to deliver them to neighbors who don’t tip well. Help your soul if you live in a state with snow.

Back to Bad N Rad! It’s a sound concept that resonated with the times. Let’s go on a skateboarding adventure! We aren’t competing in just big air anymore, this isn’t a “jam”, this is a mixed platforming and downhill skateboarding game with enemies and bosses. The game is frustrating and hard. A lot of memorization is required and there’s definitely a bit of trial and error to what you can and can’t touch in some of the stages. You have a life bar, some obstacles and enemies chip away at this like dogs and overhead spikes while some are instant kills like pits and spikes in downhill mode.

The alternating gameplay between two stages is a nice concept but neither mode, side scrolling and overhead, are done particularly well. Side scrolling is the better in my opinion. By tapping or holding down the left or right buttons you can accelerate and cruise on your board, duck with a button and jump with the other. along the way you’ll ollie over a lot of pits, duck spikes, speed down hills, avoid water and fire, and defeat bad guys by jumping on them and, seemingly, cracking them in half at the hip. You aren’t coming back from that one, tiger. The bosses are clever. It’s neat. It’s also fairly memorization based and the levels feel a bit long. the ollie/jump feels a little sticky or maybe it’s that the end of the platforms seem like they end before the sprite does. All said, it feels nice to whip through this levels once you have them down but it’s a pretty straightforward experience and not a complete thought, I guess is what I would maybe say.

The overhead levels are mostly a nightmare. I’ve never really been the fan of any the downhill levels in Skate or Die games and these might be the worst. turning feels sluggish and most sections that look as though one could weave through them are best having their obstacles jumped over. That is of course until you miss and trip over one at which point it’s likely the player will take a few cheap hits trying again as the game starts the skater right up next to the obstacle for another crash. You quickly lose life in this mode on top of everything and then you start from the top.

So, overall I haven’t made it sound like a great game and that’s true. Bad n Rad also tends to go with me everywhere I take a Gameboy (which is a lot of places!). I personally must like the game because I play it pretty consistently, ever since I got it for newspaper money. I’ve never beat the game but I can make it to the second set of levels (like a few Konami Gameboy games you can pick from a set of levels and once beaten you get more or a boss stage). I can’t ever suggest the game at work but something in me always wants to tell people to give it a try. Everyone likes some games of questionable quality and this is one of mine.


Ian Ferguson, a Gameboy enthusiast,  is a talking head on The Video Game Years and co-host of The Completely Unnecessary Podcast.

Nolen Tabner (Glendale, CA)

I gave myself three GAME OVERs per stage before moving onto the next or giving up.

Random thoughts:

* I have to admit that I’ve actually played this game before in junior high, but all I remember is the side scrolling sections on the final level and nothing else.

* Side scrolling segments are great, but the vertical segments are way too frustrating. You can’t really ride back up the screen in the vertical stages, so every obstacle you hit just knocks you backwards back into it. If you hit something once, you’re basically dead unless you get lucky.

* Biggest complaint with this game is that I can’t see far enough ahead of me to know when to jump or crouch, making this game more about memorization and less about reaction skill. To be fair, this plagues most portable games from this era (look at the handheld Mega Man ports).

* Controls felt like they responded poorly and caused the player character to feel sluggish. It wasn’t a game breaker, but combine this with the lack of visual foresight and it’s beyond annoying on the vertical levels. Once you picked up enough speed, it feels fun when you pull off the right sequence of jumps and ducks, but some levels didn’t feel like they were designed for non-stop movement.

* Music was dope


Stage 1: Too much stop and go. The user’s first experience with the controls shouldn’t be on this level. As you can see in the video, I didn’t even reach the boss :(.


Stage 2: I am terrible at this level. For some reason it feels like the controls are worse? I HATE that the water hurts the player. The music is dope as hell though. I couldn’t clear the grinder section :(.


Stage 3: THIS LEVEL RULES. It almost feels like a Sonic or recent Rayman game. Whoever designed this level knew what they were doing. The water gimmick here is way better than Stage 2, and they introduce you to it early and safely. I think I beat this level on my very last life during my final attempt :).


Stage 4: I am so bummed that this level starts with a vertical segment because it means that I am probably never going to see the final side scrolling section again. The controls and timing are just too difficult for me in my old age. Definitely didn’t even reach the boss on this one 😦


Overall, it’s a great game and I would love to see a version of this with expanded levels and a larger viewing area. The simple, though sluggish, controls show that a skateboarding platformer doesn’t need to have a steep learning curve. Even some modern games like OlliOlli have failed to pull that off.

I would say this game is both Bad and Rad.

Nolen Tabner is a game designer originally from DFW, TX now residing in Glendale, CA. He has worked on many games your toddler has played along with games your filthy uncle has played. He is currently working on a game called CHIMPS. Check him out. http://nolentabner.com